Do You Remember the Time when we had enough?

Do you remember the time, a year ago when everything seemed so different, when everything was falling apart, when everything had no sense, the time when I thought about jumping off my window. I rather not. But I have to… I want to congratulate to myself, how brave I was. I’m still here, in my life. I want to show how grateful I am that I didn’t jump from that 9th floor window on 16th of October 2018. It was a long day, and I have the biggest smile on my face ever in my life. And you know why? Because I made it!

What did I made? I made my world. I’m doing things I like the most, I became the person that I love the most, I have the family that I love the most, I have my friends who love me and I love them, I have MUSIC in my life.
I don’t fuckin’ care about anything what makes me sad. I will just leave when I have a bit of impression that something is wrong. I will give you a second chance, but the third time you’ll see my back, because I have my reasons. Personal Reasons. I will be there to support you, but don’t expect me to save you. I will be there to give you advice, but don’t expect from me to make you progress. I will be there to help you out, but don’t expect miracles from me because I’m a witch, but I don’t have those powers.

On Sunday nights I am giving you my smile, my music, my energy, my power. It’s a jam night when magic is happening. Jam night when the unrecognized meets the recognized. The night when unknown meets the known. The night when music is connecting people, fluids, talents, voices and instruments. I host those nights. I support those artists. It’s my happiness.

And that’s not the only thing.. You know what also makes me happy?! When 15 year old girl who never sang in her life starts to sing, after 2 years of hard work. After two years of teaching her how to catch the right pitch, she starts to sing! FUCK SAKE! MIRACLES! And I was the one who helped her! I was the one who made her love music, and open her eyes of the new world where everything is accepted! Her own inner music world!

I am blessed! And I am aware of it! Happiness is the moment not the time! There’s always things to look forward to! There’s always the thing that moves you! There will be always something missing! There can always be a way out! There will be always bad days and always amazing nights! You just have to hug the sadness you carry with yourself, to admit is there, to put it in one place, and to finally understand that depression is a bullshit and that you don’t need it! Especially, you don’t need anyone to make you happy, or sad.. You need someone to help you understand it! (Thank you Danijela, my therapist!)

It’s always about the choice and acceptance! Accept yourself, your mistakes and lessons and fuckin’ learn something from it!


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